Call Me Dr. Herndon

Only do this if you want to, I mean. I’m not really a doctor, and I don’t even play one on TV. I don’t have a PhD and I’ve never been to medical school, for humans or animals.

Have I told y’all that I’m teaching? I am. Teaching. I’m a teacher. Well, professor. Adjunct professor. Calling me doctor won’t be accurate, ever, because I’m not going back to school in this lifetime unless it’s free, because as it stands the government will likely exhume me, use some non-FDA-approved technology to bring me back to life, at least zombie-like, enough to work in whatever industry doesn’t discriminate against the mostly dead, and pay until the balance is zero (which is likely never since even at zero, depending on what part of the billing cycle it is, there could be $12.86 owed in interest). Breathe.

So. Adjunct professor in public speaking/speech. Y’all. It couldn’t get more perfect unless I was teaching Comp I or something else writing-based (I’m shooting for that in coming semesters). Back in August I started, the same week I started a new full-time job and the kids started school. Because I don’t do anything easily. I have a class that meets Tuesday and Thursday nights, and another on Saturday mornings.

And I love it.

I kind of thought I would. I mean, I applied for it, so I thought I was interested. I knew I liked to talk (duh).

Exhibit 1:

I knew I liked to be the center of attention and have people listen to me (I continue to strive toward having this occur in my house, though).

Exhibit 2:

What I wasn’t expecting, though, was how much I would enjoy it, enjoy the students, enjoy not sticking to a syllabus I toiled over but promptly forgot about. You seem surprised. Why? What you read here is usually giving a picture of me being neurotic. Did you think that would magically stop just because I was in charge of imparting knowledge and the ability to speak extemporaneously to others? Psh. We haven’t looked at the book in weeks.

But! It works for us. We refer to the book on occasion, but it’s largely not something we rely upon (this is also to do with a financial aid issue that caused many students to not get the book vouchers in time. And you know those books are high as a giraffe’s ass. I keep wondering why we still use them, why any educational outfit does. Nearly everything in them is outdated the following year anyway). I’ve figured out that using the book helps on occasion, but I am largely a hands-on, let’s make our own examples, tonight your challenge is to speak on a topic for 3 minutes without saying um, uh, like, or know what I’m saying, GO.

When they call me professor, I sometimes still look around like who? Who are they calling?

I was evaluated last week during the weekday class and though it was grueling (for me, because am I doing ok, does she think I’m doing ok, I’M MAKING THIS UP AS I GO) I was asked back next semester. My class was described as “fun and engaged.” On a Thursday night at 8:00 pm, it seems like a feat.

I’ll add doctor to the list of things I’m never going to accomplish (remember my fucket list?). But now that I think more about it, you can call me doctor, but please pronounce it doc-tuh, like Audrey. I’ll answer.

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