I Don’t Need a TV Guide. Anymore.

There was a time when I watched a lot of tv. I watched soap operas, Oprah, evening shows, even the game channel because 100,000 Pyramid. I don’t know when it happened, when I started doing other things, forgetting which shows were on which nights. And then I just…stopped caring. I can go weeks without turning the television on. My husband enjoys CNN and the local morning news, though, so even if I don’t turn it on, a tv will be on occasionally. We have two televisions in the house — one in our bedroom and one in the basement. The girls have been lobbying for one in their room since they could say Rolie Polie Olie. They will likely still be asking when it’s time to leave for college or just leave my house.

I used to enjoy evening television but then all the shows I liked ended. 24. Brothers and Sisters. 30 Rock. The Wire.


I mean, while I’m at it, I’m still angry about Magnum P.I., Hart to Hart, The Jeffersons, The Cosby Show,  LA Law, Moonlighting, In Living Color, Medium, NY Undercover, Melrose Place, Everybody Hates Chris, That 70s Show, Chappelle’s Show. China Beach.

Mad About You. And probably Knight Rider.

What the hell, Models, Inc.?

Now, when I turn on the tv it’s because I am avoiding doing something else, I’m folding laundry, or there’s something I genuinely want to see. And every time? I get sucked in to more. Oh, how the hours are wasted.

Star Trek.

I went to bed this past Saturday at 11. True to form, I can’t sleep well if it’s late and my husband is not in the house. He wasn’t due back until quite late, though, and my body said the hell with trying, turn on the tv. Oooooh tv. We haven’t had that in a while. In the entirety of our DirecTV queue that is perpetually 92% filled, I own TWO recurring recordings: Scandal and Unsung. Having seen both of those most recent episodes, I started the dreaded clicking around. I landed on White House Down. An hour and a half later, I wound up on HGTV yelling at House Hunters. And then House Hunters International. And then some kind of fix my restaurant but first scream at me and tell me how deplorable the food is show. House Hunters again. Why are you even married? Seriously, light colored wood gives you a headache? You hate purple? Painting is probably the hardest thing to undo in the history of home buying. Why hasn’t sarcasm font been invented yet?


By the time I happened upon the cliffs of insanity the other night/morning, it was after 4 a.m. My husband had long been home but there I was, still enjoying the mindlessness tv offers. I woke him by giggling at Miracle Max. At 5:15 I forced myself to turn it off because I knew that in a little over two hours the boy would be tapping me saying, “Mommy, the sun is up with me.”

This post has no purpose other than to explain that I simply don’t watch a lot of tv (I was thinking about it after talking to my friend Jennifer a while back. Today, she posted about her love of tv/Netflix). When I do turn it on, it’s to watch the few specific things I like or a movie here and there. It’s also to let me realize that maybe the reason I don’t get invested in television like I did years ago (Angie and Jesse, Luke and Laura, who stole Valene’s twins?) is because I’ve suffered enough heartache over show cancellations. Homicide: Life on the Street (did they ever pin anything on Luther Mahoney? Why do I remember his name?). Stringer Bell did not deserve to die like that.

Clifford because John Ritter.

Fantasy Island!

I’ll stick to cooking, household DIY shows, home shopping, Olivia Pope, and music history. Because Victor and Nikki should still be together.

Quantam Leap.

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